i'm a government spy

undefyinq:

undefyinq:

I wanna sneak out in the middle of the night and drive to the middle of nowhere and lay on the roof of a car and stare at the stars 

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

boxedjellyfish:

I wish my whole vocab was as great as this line

boxedjellyfish:

I wish my whole vocab was as great as this line

skywlker:

skywlker:

when your best friend starts talking about his new empire

image

when your best friend betrays the jedi order

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trebaolofarabia:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

Teens always look terrified as customers.